Return
"I have brushed away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like a mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22
What is your desire? The longing within you that stirs your souls desire to the heights of fame, fortune, success, belonging, achievement. What gives you power and glory? There are too many desires to name. We all may desire different things on the surface, such as landing a dream job, seeing our child graduate, etc. Those are incredible things that should be desired. Fundamentally I think there is one thing we truly desire, to love and be loved.
What are our fundamental values? What gives our lives meaning? I have struggled with these question for many years. Dealing with my treatment resistant depression has made me feel alone, unwanted and abandoned. Granted this was always far from the truth, but sometimes it is hard to get out of a rut. I have found in my own journey that what I truly desire is to love and be loved. When I am dealing with mood shifts or the numbness of a deep depression I always remember this: return.
It is a simple word, but has a lot of meaning. You may return from a vacation, return home from work, return from despair, and you may also return to that habit that you think will satisfy you, but only makes things worse. You may return to just going through the motions of life, letting it slowly slip by. We still must return.
I love this quote from the book of Isaiah. In such a beautiful and prophetic way he tells us, “I have brushed away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like a mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you” (Isaiah 44:22). I often forget that God is right there with me through everything, even if I do not feel His presence. In fact, I think there are many times, even long stretches of weeks or months, when I don’t feel His presence. God promised to be with us always. We have to return.
We all deal with sin, guilt and shame. You are not alone. Do not let shame and guilt cloud your judgement and make you feel like you are alone and there is no one to help you, that there is no way out. There is always a way, and that is to return your thoughts, feeling, desires, hopes, dreams, sins, shame and guilt to God. He is always with you, always loving you. In fact, we can not love well if we have not been loved properly, and Jesus is the first to love us and teaches us how to love. Jesus is waiting there lovingly for our return. It is not so much our work, but God inspiring us to turn to Him. We must be loved first, and that love of God is what draws us closer to Him.
No matter who you are, where you have been, what you have done or what has been done to you, God is with you in it all. You just have to return to the overwhelming sacrificial love of Jesus, and call on Him time and again no matter what’s going on in your life. We may not feel His presence, but God never promised that. He said He will be with us always.
Open your mind, heart, and soul and return!